I originally intended for the zine to be called DISTORT CLEVELAND, and the content was going to be almost entirely CLE related writing but for my self aggrandizing. Eventually I was going to compile all this writing into a book, sell it to some dumbshit publisher w/ some tagline of "hey isn't it crazy someone from fuckin ass backward AUSTRALIA wrote a tome on a shithole city in another country, etc." and they'd hum and ha and throw me a cheque and I'd buy myself some kinda penis extension pills / machines that all these new friends I have over email have been telling me is the best thing for my life, and with this massive phallic instrument I'd post naked for a national mag under the line: BOOK PUBLISHER AND WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION. So I'd pool the money for both of these into buying an air ticket to Cleveland and excitedly rush into the bar where a buncha sullen blokes would be downing swill and listening to, uh, fuckin' SCREAMIN JAY HAWKINS, and I'd show them the book and my massive package, and they'd beat me into a pulp for exploiting their shitty city for my middle class highbrow blah blah bullshit, and I'd lay in a puddle of my blood and wish I'd never heard the h100's and I was home in my quiet house lying on the couch with my significant other watching sitcoms and laughing wid a lap fulla popcorn kernels and a twinkle in my eye. So, this issue is a little more on Cleveland, so I can make this little dream of mine a reality for us all to share and look back and laugh upon.

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